So I’ve seen a couple of these guy’s music videos. I’ve seen them all over the internet.

I have no idea what has happened to this world. But they’ve lost all good judgement. I even tried to give them a chance, honest.  There is one song that is pretty catchy, even I’ll admit, and that’s their lead single, That’s What Makes You Beautiful. But even still, it is so cheesy and girly. Even so, I actually don’t mind that song.

But I still don’t like y’all.

Sorry One Direction fans.

I have yet to be convinced.

Here are ten things about One Direction that I’ve been able to gather.

1. Bad hair.

Seriously. Harry, above, usually has some crazy hair style going on that you know has to have at least one can’s worth of hairspray in it to make it stay the way it is. The rest of them go anywhere from mohawks to Justin Bieber, which I will get to. The only one who has even somewhat normal hair is Niall. Or Niell. What ever his name is.

The blonde one. And even he usually has some weird messy do going on.

Moving on.

2. Boy Band.

When did these even come back into existence? Remember Backstreet Boys? N’Sync? Jonas Brothers? Obviously their legacy didn’t last that long. Why are they trying again?

3. Beatles Wanna-Be’s

I’m not even kidding when I say they are widely compared to The Beatles. “The New Beatles”

Umm.

NO NO NO. That is just about the most insulting thing ever said about the Beatles ever.

The Beatles revolutionized the music world. They weren’t popular because they were good looking. They were popular because they were freaking AWESOME.

4. Backstreet Boys

I think I already made my point about this.

Niall is all like “Not bad.”

5. Bieber.

How many Justin Biebers can you find in this picture?

6. Bow Ties.

Okay the bow ties are actually pretty awesome.  That’s just about all they’ve got going for them.

7. British.

Ha I lied. They’ve got the British/Irishness going for them too. But that’s not enough.

8. Bears

9. Beets

10. Battlestar Gallactica

Okay so the last three things didn’t really have anything to do with One Direction.  Except some of them have hair that looks like they’ve been attacked by a bear. And they hold as much interest to me as a beet. And they don’t belong on this planet like the characters in Battlestar Galactica. YES! Call me awesome.

Now a letter to the dear band:

Dear One Direction,

I’m a teenage girl who has a few things she’d like to see changed about y’all.

1. Stop singing girly songs. Seriously guys. Man up. Stop singing for insecure teenage girls. Also, if you’re going to sing a song about how insecure girls that don’t feel beautiful are really beautiful, you probably shouldn’t have the girl in your music video be extremely pretty. Kinda defeats the meaning, geniuses.
2. DON’T wear skinny pants. I’ve got two words for you: STOP. IT. Men look so manly in skinny jeans, said no one EVER. So stop it.
3. Stop doing your hair like that. Seriously it’s weird. Just do it normal like.
4. Start making your songs not all the exact same. If you would actually add a little variety, that would be awesome. I got tired of hearing songs where you comfort insecure girls after like two songs.
5. I know you have no control over this, but I’d love it if you weren’t so popular simply because you were cute. I wonder if y’all realize that you’re popularity would go down by about 98% if you weren’t so “good looking”. In fact, I’d bet quite the sum that by the time y’all are 25, you’ll be simply the band of yesterday that no one really remembers that well. Just like the Jonas Brothers.

Posted by Kait in Media Stuff