Today as I was sitting before the computer, talking to Katy and writing our book, I had a sudden urge for something to snack on. I stood up and strode to the kitchen, glancing into the pantry and fridge for something edible and satisfying. I spotted the carrots in the vegetable drawer. I hadn’t had carrots in a long time so I grabbed the bag.
I was munching on carrots, annoyed at the way they caught in my braces, but continued eating. They were really good.
Somehow I brought up to Katy that I was eating carrots. Then all the sudden I had a question – was I supposed to eat carrots with braces on?
“Umm no, I don’t think you are.” Was the response I got from my fellow braces-wearing friend.

Oops.

I looked it up to verify this.

No. I’m not supposed to eat carrots.

That’s interesting. [crunch]

As I continued eating the carrots I supposedly was not supposed to have, I found this list of foods that I am not supposed to eat.

FORBIDDEN DELECTIBLES THAT ARE REALLY YUMMY THAT YOU CAN’T HAVE:

Hard candy
Caramel
Taffy
*Hard bread crusts
*Pizza crust
*Hard nuts
*Tacos
*Tortilla chips
Corn Nuts
Popcorn
Jerky
Corn on the cob
Dried fruit

Cut these into bite-sized pieces:

*Bagels
Apples
*Raw carrots
*Raw celery
*Steak

Avoid chewing:
Gum
Ice
Bones

Watch out for sugar in:
*Jelly
*Syrup
*Honey
*Sugared cereals
*Breakfast rolls
*Catsup
*Desserts
*Sodas

* I’ve had these since braces were on.

Ok first of all I’d like to ponder why on earth they had to add “bones” to that list.

“Look I’m really sorry Mr. Orthodontist,  but I just couldn’t help myself! I had such a craving for bones.”

Wha?Anyway.  I’m pretty sure they want me to starve.

 

*orthodontist scans list of foods I can’t have*
“Umm…lets see. Uh. How about I give you a list of foods you can have. It’ll be a shorter list.”

I’m serious.

They want me to starve.

At least I can still have…umm…lettuce.

And umm. Rice pudding.

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