I Think They Want Me To Starve

Kait — Thu, 30 Dec 2010 18:50:16 +0000

Today as I was sitting before the computer, talking to Katy and writing our book, I had a sudden urge for something to snack on. I stood up and strode to the kitchen, glancing into the pantry and fridge for something edible and satisfying. I spotted the carrots in the vegetable drawer. I hadn’t had carrots in a long time so I grabbed the bag.
I was munching on carrots, annoyed at the way they caught in my braces, but continued eating. They were really good.
Somehow I brought up to Katy that I was eating carrots. Then all the sudden I had a question – was I supposed to eat carrots with braces on?
“Umm no, I don’t think you are.” Was the response I got from my fellow braces-wearing friend.

Oops.

I looked it up to verify this.

No. I’m not supposed to eat carrots.

That’s interesting. [crunch]

As I continued eating the carrots I supposedly was not supposed to have, I found this list of foods that I am not supposed to eat.

FORBIDDEN DELECTIBLES THAT ARE REALLY YUMMY THAT YOU CAN’T HAVE:

Hard candy
Caramel
Taffy
*Hard bread crusts
*Pizza crust
*Hard nuts
*Tacos
*Tortilla chips
Corn Nuts
Popcorn
Jerky
Corn on the cob
Dried fruit

Cut these into bite-sized pieces:

*Bagels
Apples
*Raw carrots
*Raw celery
*Steak

Avoid chewing:
Gum
Ice
Bones

Watch out for sugar in:
*Jelly
*Syrup
*Honey
*Sugared cereals
*Breakfast rolls
*Catsup
*Desserts
*Sodas

* I’ve had these since braces were on.

Ok first of all I’d like to ponder why on earth they had to add “bones” to that list.

“Look I’m really sorry Mr. Orthodontist, but I just couldn’t help myself! I had such a craving for bones.”

Wha?Anyway. I’m pretty sure they want me to starve.

*orthodontist scans list of foods I can’t have*
“Umm…lets see. Uh. How about I give you a list of foods you can have. It’ll be a shorter list.”

I’m serious.

They want me to starve.

At least I can still have…umm…lettuce.

And umm. Rice pudding.

The Orthodontic Terror

Kait — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 18:05:47 +0000

The orthodontist is a place that you will never forget. Though several of you know what I mean, yes that would be my brace-buddies Katy, Danny, and Spencer, I’m going to give ya’ll a rundown of what goes on inside the nicely painted, apparently welcoming building.
You walk in and are met by the very sweet receptionists that tell you to sign in and go sit down. Your nervousness starts to go away with so many warm smiles from the assistants around you. When your name is called, you walk over to a seat where a nice lady asks you how you are doing. You smile and reply you’re doing well. She aks if you’re having any problems with your braces or anything and you say no. She lowers you down, and while doing so says “Oh you’re getting new wires today…top and bottom”. She walks over to the counter and puts on some gloves and grabs your new wires. She returns and sits down to take off your color bands. Forcefully pushing on your semi-sore teeth, she says “We’ll get these wires in…if I can get these doors open. haha.” You wince as she press even harder on your teeth. She eventually gets it, to your relief…but your relief is short lived. As she clips your new wires she says “These wires are bigger, so it’s probably going to be pretty painful.”
Gee thanks.
After that procedure, your orthodontist comes over and looks at your mouth. “Hmm, her overbites getting worse. Guess we’ll have to insert a very painful appliance on her molars that will dig into her cheeks and make it hard for her to move her mouth.” (ok, he didn’t say the second sentence, but that’s what my friends tell me of this device)
The joy is overflowing by now. The anticipation of your next appointment growing.
At least it wasn’t as bad as your first appointment. The one where you were told they were going to drive a nail through your gum and attach it to your jawbone and connect that to your laying-down molars. “That’ll probably make your mouth sore. And it’s not a surgery or anything, so she’ll be awake the whole time.”
That was very painful, by the way.

Yupp…you gotta love the orthodontist. Every visit is filled with joy and excitment. Yeah, I highly recommend it.

The new ad for the orthodontist should say something like this: Come to our Orthodontics! You’ll receive excellent care, and lots of pain! Our staff is always pleased to serve you and ready to hurt your mouth. Come by today for free information about what you’ll go through with our services.

Ok ok, I am happy to get straight teeth…and I love the niceness of my othodontist and his staff…but really…must it hurt this bad???

Kaitlynology » I hate teeth

I Think They Want Me To Starve

The Orthodontic Terror